A Brief Conversation With My Brain
[My brain needn't have worried. It wasn't long before the blog would be closed down for good. -Curator]
Brain: Oy. Oy you. What are you doing?
Phil: I’m reopening the site.
Brain: …
Phil: You remember… Planet of Bastards. The primary depositary of hijinks and prankary within the University of Salford.
Brain: Yes I remember. I remember well. I am your brain after all
Phil: I know… We’ve met before.
Brain: I thought did away with this place like a vet cutting off a homeless dog’s gammy leg.
Phil: I did. But that was back in the turbulant geopolitical climate of last year. This year things to be returning to the more normal state of getting shitfaced with a few friends and acting like a moron… You know, stuff that’s fun to read about.
Brain: Are you sure this is a good idea… Do you not remember how angry some of the events you chronicled and some of the people who left comments on this site made you? I do. I’m your brain.
Phil: Yeah I know… You said already. And I don’t care, the world once again must know about the things I do, lest they themselves are somehow forced to live my mistakes.
Brain: But the anger… I find it unpleasant
Phil: I care not lots. My mind is made up on this.
Brain: Remember that scene in 24 when Jack Bauer shot Nina Myers?
Phil: Ooh… Jack Bauer… Hey, wait a minute… Don’t try and distract me with your cheap tricks. It won’t work. I’m doing this and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.
Brain: Oh I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I’m your brain. I control you.
Phil: Cocky little fucker aren’t you. You’ve got less power over me than you think my friend.
Brain: What… What’s that you’ve got there?
Phil: Oh this? Why it’s just a 1000ml can of 5% Faxe lager beer. Here try some.
Brain: Hey. No. No, stop that!
Phil: Oh I don’t think I’ll be doing that any time soon. Have some more.
Brain: Stop it. You’re making me feel not good.
Phil: Don’t fight it. It’s inevitable. Just welcome the feeling and things will be more pleasant for all concerned.
Brain: Buh…
Brain: Um… What were we talking about?
Phil: That’s the spirit.
Brain: …
Phil: Good stuff. Now that he’s out of the way we can get this metaphorical show on the road.
